Amazing Breakthrough! Cooperative vs. Competitive Groups

Reading about child development and education last year, in a book that a homeschool Dad tried to discourage me from reading, I actually stumbled upon a truth that God tucked in there, just for me!  And you!  And other people who were looking...  It talked about how students who like a cooperative environment don't do well with students who like a competitive one.  The coop. stdts do better working w/ other cooperative studts.  This hit me like a surprise wave at Va. Bch. I thought about the years spent in church.  I wondered if it was possible that the environment where leaders wouldn't speak to members, and that administrative staff were primarily task-oriented, and activities were judged as their benefit to the entire group, that perhaps this was a competitive group?  And like an older Church leader said, most church staff are focused on getting things done, not on listening, not listening to people's hearts. 
It has really made sense to me, and I wonder if it's possible that this is why we have enjoyed the Rockfish church so much.  As an organization, their congregation has an 85% incidence of the gift of serving...is that amazing?  And each Sunday, the leaders stand at the doors and greet and shake hands with the people entering.  It just about brings tears to my eyes to think how the people entering really feel honored.  And after a year there, it is amazing that it's still that way.  The organizations in the church, the ministries are member-initiated, and leader-initiated.  Some Tuesdays are church-wide ministry meetings open to all the congregation.  The leadership of the meetings is by teams, as some members may come and go.  Thus, it appears that the ministries have steered clear of power-mongering...  This is a huge, huge victory... This has been incredibly hope-restoring to me.  An aside, my friend told me that the Pastor, who has a PhD in counselling, 20+ yrs. ago,  hired her at a small biz, when she was very pregnant, and took the heat for doing so, because she needed a job.  That's a caring heart. 
Well, I am researching Cooperative vs. Competitive Interactions, and it seems to be a very important reality that I look forward to learning about.  Have you found anything out about this element of relationships?

Our Greatest Desire

Our greatest desire is that you find a home, and that you make a home wherever you are. I guess that that means finding people that you can trust.  Is it possible that some of that is being trustworthy? And is it possible that that means avoiding people who would exploit us or entrap us?

Another question is that is it possible that finding a home and a community involves finding how to use your talents to help meet the needs in your immediate area?  Perhaps in far away, remote areas as well?

We pray that you will seek out people who have servants' hearts and who love God and are kind. However, we know that you'll never find a perfect person, and if we're focused on doing that, then we're probably very selfish. We hope that your interactions with others at work, school, the community, and in creative efforts will be rewarding and that you'll be able to develop relationships, and go beyond where we have gone.

How are you all doing as far as dealing with conflict? We hope that you have been able to remain in groups in spite of conflict, and to not throw in the towel. If you have not been satisfied with how you dealt with past conflicts, we know that God is big time showing you super Leadership techniques to help to Build a Team and to deepen relationships.  You know our strengths and weaknesses, and we are working on being more responsive and communicative in relationships. I hope to talk to friends more often, not just send Cmas cards.  So, as often true, it's a Q of developing self discipline.  I purpose to be more disciplined in communicating with friends.  I plan to use a calendar and the goal setting website.  I'll post it later, cuz don't member.  ILY

Missing College Students at Sunday Brunch...Intensity washing away

We're eating Sunday brunch. As we sit down together, I miss you all, and hope that you're enjoying a good meal on this day. It seems like the years you were home were just a blur, but I hope you know that we loved you and love you all very much.

Our family and the Royal Rangers biked, hiked, and enjoyed 8 miles of trail on the gorgeous Cape Fear Greenway yesterday! Wow! Annalisa is the only 8yo I know who's done that! And she was dealing with a gnat in her ear....irritation. We also rode Toto in a basket on my bike, and everyone laughed since he looks just like Toto in the bike basket on The Wizard of Oz. He was not pleased. What a perfect way to spend a Saturday!

OK, Mother's thoughts...I wish we could spend a lot more Saturdays enjoying and playing...I wish we could do the years over that we didn't do enough of that...If we could spend time laughing and not being intense, I would give anything for that...Just to let you know that I realize how my intenisty has been burdensome to all...And probably I was fighting the intensity in my past, hoping to not pass it on, but I ended up passing it on... I hope you'll all accept my apologies for the birthday parties and other events when I was trying to create something new and glorifying to God. Although I would have liked to have created great memories, I tried So Hard, and it should have been just laughing and enjoying...

We parents pass on things that we don't want to, but we believe and stake our lives on the fact that God will use those wounds as windows for His grace and power to shine through. Please just forgive us, and give us more chances.. Maybe that's what honor your parents means. Not that they always deserve honor, but that you forgive them their mistakes and set your confidence in God to work through their efforts.