The Vigil

Here's the bag of snacks that my daughter, Lysandra, (named after the Liberator of Mankind), brought to the distant hospital the evening of our vigil.  From the gourmet store, family-owned, that favors her, where she is working part-time while studying business and preparing to launch...and marry...she walks forward, steadily, like her Grandfather, her Papi did.
Here are the fotos of grandchildren, warming the golden pine wall, that is reflecting the morning sunshine at the foot of the national forest.  The fotos that Papi walked by every day, and which he didn't object to, for they are not like the other collections in the home, that he would wish Mami would get rid of.
The thermometer and blood pressure cuff are waiting for Mami to wake up after a sleepless night, for she slept alone; The cousin, Crisitina, who was going to sleep with her, who is so lovingly faithful to her, slept with her visiting cousin, Marisa, who was there at the Vigil.
The spring wind is here, and the lengthening days; Bespeaking time of harvest, richness, and life, here in the mountains, where Papi settled us, and prepared a homestead, in the time before the new Millennium.
I'm looking for letters or cards or poems from Papi for me.  He did leave a beautiful poem for all of us, and I take it as a personal missive just for me.  All 36 of us take it as such.  At home, I have every card he ever sent me for Birthday, Anniversary, and other.   I never, ever thought that they would end-he had an endless supply.  We have found recordings of him and Mami singing together for Birthdays.  We have located them hungrily.  We treasure them.  I delve deeply, deeply into them, feeling eternity...   For I know that he doesn't end.  I know that time may end, but the life that is God endures forever.  The intelligence, the heart, the person that he is, will live forever.  And we presented the choice to the boy who grew up on the Frontier, in his tender years, then lived on his own, primarily, from 8 years of age.  We told him to choose life, to live eternally with his loving Father/Creator.
We loved him into the Kingdom of God, I believe.
Here is the picture in my mind of my sister, lovingly smiling at him, and he at her, for 10 full minutes, after the massive hemorrhage and the trip to the ER.   I see my Mami aceracandose and my Papi recognising her with great joy and surprise and then going dark, not responding again.
The CAT scan, is a picture that I saw at the beginning of the most intense part of the Vigil, that mapped out for me the great damage that my father's brain had suffered, and showed his great center of Reason had been shut down.  But for God, we knew that the curtain had been drawn between us, and that we would be apart for a long time.
My brothers, nieces, nephews, sister in law, all play outside, kicking the ball, and initiating a young generation into a world of security and warmth.  They run by the pots of succulents, and of ferns, that my brother in law, who joined the family late in life, removed from the winter basement, trimmed, beautified, and set them out for the springtime.  His love and skill of plants, honed over decades, joins with my Mother's heritage of vineyarding of centuries, and together, their labors reach a crescendo in the lush, heavenly gardens that fill my eyes with light, color, and shadow.
My Mami sleeps still.
She will travel to her home in another continent, to see her older sister once more.  They will comfort and enrich one another, and in the frail frames of elderly women, the life of the spirit of young girls who grew in a large family, and loved one another deeply, anticipate spending warm, light-filled years together in their Father's house.

Papi In Rehab

After all, Papi was referred to Rehabilitation.  He is receiving Speech, Occupational, and Physical Therapy. A large crowd brought him to the facility, and with tears we acclimated him, and deliberated if this was ok.  Conferring with Juani the Pharmacist Doctor, Dr. Sowinski, Rosi w/ health care training, myself with biology background (and I worked in my father's medical practice). and the rest of the family. we considered his medical and therapy needs, and decided that the rehab was similar to camp;  We would be sending him to a "rehab camp".  In our family, it was hard to take him to a facility, and to leave home.  His recovery and interaction with a wonderful staff in the hospital, then in the rehab facility, have been very, very positive.
He'll have medical staff to take his vital signs, monitor his blood sugar, and blood coagulation while on Coumadin blood thinner. The rehab has been very helpful to my Mami and she is resting. The family, Mami and I, and Cristina, have stayed close by.  Juani and Marcos returned home, and Pili arrived tonite.  I will go home Thursday.  Orlando will stay for a month.  Rehab has been a family reunion. We are so grateful for Papi's recovery. 
Today, excitedly, I mentioned to Mami about doing art with Papi.  She said "Great idea". I purchased a nice set, and returned to share it with Papi, anticipating using the Mona Brooks Method, connecting left and right brain.  I began sharing with him, and he excitedly fell asleep.  When he awoke, or I suspect, stopped pretending, I sweetly and smilingly said, "Now we can do art!"  He lovingly said, "No!" You do it! Not me!" with great Choleric grace.  And I knew he was back.  Gone were my dreams of sharing sweet moments of art together.  Somehow we gotta get the left brain to stop Dominating the right brain as much. 
Pili illuminated us on the right and left brain balance, She introduced us to the website, My Stroke of Genius. A Neurologist from Harvard who had a stroke, recovered because her Mother nurtured her and used right brain enrichment.  The lady doctor recovered fully in 8 years due to her Mother's loving therapy.  So, Papi, we ARE going to do art... ;\  ;]
Papi is going to continue doing sequencing exercises, grip strengthening, and physical therapy.  The OT felt he would be here about 10 days.  His agility is very good, and his balance as well.  We are looking forward to a full recovery and before 2 cousins' weddings. 

My Father's Stroke and Second Chance

Thursday, my Father had a stroke, with the slurred speech and drooping mouth on one side.  The next day he was walking, joking, and imitating the fast walk of hospital staff person. His speech has been a little slurred, and he has been searching for words, but we are overall... amazed. I arrived3 days later to join the warm family circle around my warm, glowing Father/Papi.  The Sunday night after the Thursday stroke, I hugged Papi's neck and held him for a long time.  The next day we visited from 1pm to 10 at night, and this day amazed us even more.  In the morning, he walked up 15 steps, then back down.  He spoke rather articulately, recognizing Gen. Forrest in a military painting of the Civil War that I gave him.  He took it, studied it, and spoke the name "Forrest."  Then, "I know him."  He interacted with the Phys Therapist, charming her and many of the other staff.                                                                                                                                A dark moment overshadowed the day to be swept away by spring winds. While Papi napped, a Doctor of Osteopathy came into the room and asked if we wanted to resuscitate our Father if his heart stopped.  Mami understood that the question was about extreme measures.  I interjected that we did want to use emergency response in case of Papi's heart stopping.  I agreed with Mami that he didn't want artificial life support, but the D.O. wanted to know if she should mark DNR, Do Not Resuscitate.  We clarified that we did Not Want to mark his bed Do Not Resuscitate (DNR)  What a relief.

Getting in bed, became easier and he has grown stronger thorough out the day.  The Doctor came in at mid day, and announced  he could leave when his blood thinner to a 2.0 with the Coumadin  bloodthinner.  Papi surprised us all, when he agreed eagerly with the doctor about entering rehabilitation.  We were very relieved and grateful.  Orlando is able to accompany him and advocate for Papi and will be available for several weeks.
Juani just called and advised me that Papi has been evaluated as not needing  Occupational Therapy, nor Physical Therapy, and Medicaid will not pay for Speech Therapy alone.  He is most likely not a candidate for Rehab.  OK then...what's next...? I'm waiting on Juani's call as he continues to consult.
Back to the events of Monday in Rm. 2-17, in the Salinas Hub.
At dinner time, the Neurologist visited, Dr. Maruso, from Mexico. He evaluated Papi and told him that he will improve with rehab and that he's not completely recovered yet, but that he will recover w/ therapy. (Both doctors were Spanish and communnicated with Papi in English and Spanish which really helped to spark their communication and connect w/ Papi.)
We spoke with Dr. Maruso about the change in Papi's agility-last week he was shuffling with a cane, and this week he's spry and walking 18 steps and springing in and out of bed.  The Dr. said let me see and took Papi's hands and swiveled them around from the wrists for 30 sec.  Then he said that Papi had some rigidity that might mean the beginning of Parkinson's.  He proceeded to say that the death of some Brain tissue may have counteracted the Parkinson's, quieting the parts of the brain that over-fire.  We were amazed, again.  Unbelievably, Papi had recovered well, and now it was possible that a life-threatening stroke, averted, by the grace of God in response to many prayers, had neutralized a Parkinson's Disease onset.  Wow.
Now, we are contacting the case manager from social services to secure a hospital bed.  Papi will stay in the den while the hall bathroom is remodeled from bath to shower. I'm trying to post photos of our day together.

Optimism and Pessimism over the Last Days

I woke up thinking about how our view of the end of the world, and the last days, affects our daily lives.  Dad & I started out the week having an intense, yet lively discussion about the effects of your view on the end times on your attitude and daily life.
For me, I felt that we had lived under one set of beliefs and expectations, and had switched to another, and that we needed to verbalize what had happened and how the shift had come about.
We came to faith in Christ in the 70's, as part of the Jesus Movement, a movement that many members of that generation of adults felt was an answer to the desperate prayers of mothers and fathers for God to save their children from the infiltration of drugs and immorality.  A large part of the movement was the urgent imminence of the tribulation and the Rapture, an allegiance to the Pre-Tribulation Rapture and the literal Millennium school of belief.
That urgency was fed by the hostility of the government and the takeover of the culture by anti-Christian movements, and most notably by the wholesale slaughter of infants in the womb.  The end effect was of mistrust of the government and a fortress type stance of the church.
Forward to the 21st century and the megachurches.  We relocated because of employment and transferred to a megachurch in its initial stages.  The end times view here was not so focused, and instead was on taking authority in your oikos, sphere of influence.  The basis of this view was that Jesus had bound Satan and had the keys to hell and death, so we had open doors and could spread the kingdom.  The outcome of that was a confidence and initiative that was empowering, as well as worship that was glorious.  Along with the good effects, I witnessed a lack of kindness and love that was heart-rending.  It seemed that the focus that we had had on the suffering church and fasting and intercession was at odds with the new focus on taking authority in a geographical area.  It seemed to parallel the contrast between the survivors of the great persecution in Germany and the post-WWII consumer-driven generation.  There was an appreciation and familiarity of suffering and the cost of spiritual and political freedom that was absent in the younger generation.  And in that generation and in particular the church, there seemed to be a generation that was ready to take positions of authority by whatever means was presented or available but that had not much appreciation for humility nor kindness.  
It has seemed very important to me to chronicle this, so that our children will understand the paradigm shifts that we have lived through.  The focus of our Christian life early in our marriage was worship, serving other Christians, supporting world missions, and being an advocate for the least of these, those who had no one to speak for them.  In our children's teen years, we saw a change to focus on taking ground for the Kingdom through worship& prayer.  The focus was on reaching numbers, and being "relevant to the culture".  This meant spending time and resources in activities that society values currently, ie: fitness, consumerism, music, entertainment...
Although I rejoice at the success in drawing many people and fishing and catching men, I have struggled with the focus on following a leader, an individual, as they guide us through this endeavor.  I have desired more to be taking my play notes from the Bible itself.  I realize that the revelations from the Word of God have to come through a man or woman;  The truths are spoken and predicated-preached.  But it has been troubling to see opinion formed by the winsomeness of an individual's appearance and lifestyle.
Yet as I think about it, if our appearance and choice of activities can win people to the Lord, then I would manage those in such a way as to win persons to the Kingdom of Jesus Christ.  I think that the expressed attitude of depreciation by the Kingdom Movement adherents, for those who focus on the Tribulation and Rapture was a big problem for me, and still is.  Perhaps the Kingdom people had encountered the difficult opposition of Pre-tribulation adherents, and the emphatic emphasis on the coming holocaust-catastrophe.
There is a difference between anticipating destruction and anticipating prosperity.
The view of occupying till I come is important to me. I like to utilize our prosperity to aid missions and those in need, and to focus on the Lord's power and His dominion is more liberating and profitable than to focus on destruction.
I think that a very desirable position is that people are reachable and that we need tools and training to be a light in our jobs and in our lives;  That we Can and Will see people respond to the news that Eternal Life is a free gift, that we could never earn it nor deserve it. 
I believe that tenderness and love are the highest values in the Kingdom of Love, because it says that God so Loved the world, that He gave His one and only Son, that whosoever believes on Him would not perish but have everlasting life. His calling card, His permission to reach us, His identity, was that He suffered loss to demonstrated love and goodwill for us.  He established that His overriding intent was to be friends with us and to enjoy us. He was not intending to use us, exploit us, or steal from us.  He identified Himself as altruistic and good.  I am grateful that He re-established His authority in the earth, but it was by love, for love, and in love.  We must evince the same mindset as we move in authority.
I love our children the most of all my earthly treasures.  I hope that this is helpful.

Sports brings us all together

This weekend my Engineer Husband, Sculptor Son, Soccer Son, and Exchange Student Friend went to the Va Tech-Florida State Game at Charlotte. This being their first game was a series of adventures.  First, we saw God's hand as the tickets came available at a great discount.  Second, they braved cold weather and all but my Sculptor Son, wore the ski pants, following my suggestion.  They told about yelling, rooting, and rallying for the University Team that their parents and friends attended.  The noise level on the cell phone was pretty loud and the crowd was really rowdy.  The Sculptor, Soccer player, and Exchange Student (Missionary/Architect) all joined in the fray, coming from points afar, to carry the Va Tech team to victory.  What a picture!  The players, staff, and entire industry all come together to create good times for the fans, and the new-fans...
I just picture my silver-haired tall, good-looking husband, my 15 yr old soccer player son with dark coppery curls, and Jose, from the equator, enjoying the camaraderie and the sports scene, in his big-hearted way, before he goes home to study; and all three bundled in down and polyfill, while my long-haired, bearded son in his city gear coat, jeans, and artist's demeanor raises his voice and fist to cheer for the Tech team.  Good times, tiempos buenos!  And they are connected to me, the wife, mother, and sister in the Lord, and friend; Me, Bolivian-born, and Christ-follower, and culture-phile, and Va. Tech Hokie!
 

Amazing Breakthrough! Cooperative vs. Competitive Groups

Reading about child development and education last year, in a book that a homeschool Dad tried to discourage me from reading, I actually stumbled upon a truth that God tucked in there, just for me!  And you!  And other people who were looking...  It talked about how students who like a cooperative environment don't do well with students who like a competitive one.  The coop. stdts do better working w/ other cooperative studts.  This hit me like a surprise wave at Va. Bch. I thought about the years spent in church.  I wondered if it was possible that the environment where leaders wouldn't speak to members, and that administrative staff were primarily task-oriented, and activities were judged as their benefit to the entire group, that perhaps this was a competitive group?  And like an older Church leader said, most church staff are focused on getting things done, not on listening, not listening to people's hearts. 
It has really made sense to me, and I wonder if it's possible that this is why we have enjoyed the Rockfish church so much.  As an organization, their congregation has an 85% incidence of the gift of serving...is that amazing?  And each Sunday, the leaders stand at the doors and greet and shake hands with the people entering.  It just about brings tears to my eyes to think how the people entering really feel honored.  And after a year there, it is amazing that it's still that way.  The organizations in the church, the ministries are member-initiated, and leader-initiated.  Some Tuesdays are church-wide ministry meetings open to all the congregation.  The leadership of the meetings is by teams, as some members may come and go.  Thus, it appears that the ministries have steered clear of power-mongering...  This is a huge, huge victory... This has been incredibly hope-restoring to me.  An aside, my friend told me that the Pastor, who has a PhD in counselling, 20+ yrs. ago,  hired her at a small biz, when she was very pregnant, and took the heat for doing so, because she needed a job.  That's a caring heart. 
Well, I am researching Cooperative vs. Competitive Interactions, and it seems to be a very important reality that I look forward to learning about.  Have you found anything out about this element of relationships?

Our Greatest Desire

Our greatest desire is that you find a home, and that you make a home wherever you are. I guess that that means finding people that you can trust.  Is it possible that some of that is being trustworthy? And is it possible that that means avoiding people who would exploit us or entrap us?

Another question is that is it possible that finding a home and a community involves finding how to use your talents to help meet the needs in your immediate area?  Perhaps in far away, remote areas as well?

We pray that you will seek out people who have servants' hearts and who love God and are kind. However, we know that you'll never find a perfect person, and if we're focused on doing that, then we're probably very selfish. We hope that your interactions with others at work, school, the community, and in creative efforts will be rewarding and that you'll be able to develop relationships, and go beyond where we have gone.

How are you all doing as far as dealing with conflict? We hope that you have been able to remain in groups in spite of conflict, and to not throw in the towel. If you have not been satisfied with how you dealt with past conflicts, we know that God is big time showing you super Leadership techniques to help to Build a Team and to deepen relationships.  You know our strengths and weaknesses, and we are working on being more responsive and communicative in relationships. I hope to talk to friends more often, not just send Cmas cards.  So, as often true, it's a Q of developing self discipline.  I purpose to be more disciplined in communicating with friends.  I plan to use a calendar and the goal setting website.  I'll post it later, cuz don't member.  ILY